How can I de-emphasize how people initially perceive me?
PLEASE READ my question before responding…I know three paragraphs is a lot for some people to read, but I went into detail because people often misinterpret my questions as an attempt to fish for compliments about my appearance.
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I’m 6’3″, around 235, broad shouldered, and bald. I’m not happy being this way, but there isn’t that much I can do, really. Obviously, I can’t change my height and even extreme weight loss (I had initially planned on losing 100 lbs in a desperate effort to reduce my chest and shoulders) isn’t going to change my basic structure. I spent thousands of dollars on hair transplants several years ago and while I still have them, they gave me some thinning hair in front with a bald spot in back. I don’t particularly like having to shave my head bald, regardless of the trendiness of it (guys like Vin Diesel and Michael Chiklis strike me as big oafish types, not anyone I’d ever want to emulate), but it’s really my only viable option.
Due to my height, size, and probably my baldness, I tend to be pegged as a protector by females (a label I hate because the idea of a female needing to feel small and secure turns me off) and as some football player type by guys (mostly by panhandlers who figure that it’ll play up to my vanity). I don’t mean to imply that I get a lot of compliments or attention, but if I do, the above remarks are generally what I hear.
I know there’s only so much I can do, really. I’ve tried looking around at other guys with similar stature and lack of hair, but I’m at a loss since most of the ones I see are older men (Sean Connery, Patrick Stewart), oafish action-hero types (Diesel, Chiklis), or bulletheaded authority figures (Steve Wilkos, who I have been mistaken for once or twice)….not really the sort of people I want to be associated with. Still, I know all I can do is work with what I have, but I want to know if people have an opinion as to what I can do to stay away from this stereotype I’ve been subjected to.
female hair loss
April 30th, 2010 at 1:34 pm
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go do some stand up comedy.. that will give you a good topic and will definetly destroy any sterotyping as soon as it comes up in conversation.. and its gona make you laugh more.. people who laugh a lot are good.. you can also be a little clumsy. .. like slapstick, it tends to ruin any image someone might have of you before they meet you.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:14 pm
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dye your hair and eyebrows dark brown, wear a slick soft but short growth of facial hair to give yourself a metro look. dont wear fuzzy bear sweaters. wear dockers instead of straight legged jeans. change your look from back woods boy to city slicker. peace
May 3rd, 2010 at 3:26 pm
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okay. i know where youre at bud. but i’m not insecure with the way i look. i’m 6’2” , 200lbs and pretty much better looking than a lot of people. yea that sounds terribly conceited; however, i’m not. i am a very humble, giving, and sometimes to my fault too caring. but people will judge primarily on my looks and stature until they are able to have a small conversation with me. so for me, its amusing to see the difference in people’s attitude once they know i’m easy going and completely normal … they see someone who is of able body, mind, and without doubt someone who appreciates life.
i’ve been in your shoes… but accept who you are and who it is people think you are… then prove them wrong by being yourself. its easy. just smile.